some bad memories

today was the 3rd day na i havent receieved any messages from my mR. reckon, i never thought i'll get a day without it.. di pa la. I looked down on my self, akala ko im so into him, hindi pala.. Yes i guess it sounds just like giving affirmation to myslef but i dont care really.. My heart is so resilient that i'll survived another of this drama, another rejection and another abandonment..I wont stay sulking or and feeling sorry for my wound,it'll soon be just a scar and it will heal.. I'll survive and im ok.. life wont stop because he left or he decided to not exist in my life.. I did survived years without knowing him and i can even after this. Im looking for love in all the wrong places and with all the wrong people. I know time is not running out for me, i'll have my 2nd, 3rd or 10th chance in love. and by that time i know then that all the right thing is put up in all the right places,with the right people. Im praying for happiness in his life.Goodbye and thanks.

hand sanitizing techniques

oK i admit it I'm not perfect, i do in fact have so much frailties in life that mY closet are full of my skeletons from my past and from my todays, they now sit still on a corner of my closet gathering dust and hunting me everyday..the fact that i am who i am make such a distinct qualities of someone who is bound to failures and rejection.And often times i am that someone who'll constantly make things tidy or spotless and yet i still fail, i fail bad and i failed more than once.But i never stop..failure was never an issue to me i was used to it in the sense that it never really shut down my nerves and stop trying.. or because i have my reason to not stop- my skeleton, the past.. I wanted to be good on everything for me to cover for my past mistakes, for people to see i've changed and that in fact i was someone they can be proud of. Or because i was someone who believed that it doesn't matter how bad you failed or how hard the falling down was, its just a matter of perspective and its a matter of belief..i give so much on my todays that i lose track count on my failures.Everyone has their own version of failing,no one can put judgement to anyone and they shouldn't because everyone has a rotten skeleton hidden somewhere in their closet..I know i have but it can never put me down to not try and even if i fail and so i'll still try

nakaka-miss...

today..i was thinkin what i've missed more.. and what just strucked me eh..namimiss ko ung party where i would dance till 2am.. un ung namimiss ko... i missed it so much..Di na kasi namin nagagawa ng mga friends ko ngaun un eh.. as if after college and after year out of it.. nawala na unng night life..we go through our lives na para bang na drain from partying... We used to go like makati or as far a batangas just to attend parties..now , well we have get together but the oldies stuff na like chitchating sa starbucks.. as if we matured over night the next thing i know i was sipping jelly coffee fraP or dining with them at tagaytay..in exchange of cold beer and grinding sa dancefloor.. they say nga time flies like crazy and before you knew it.. or realized it you're a completely changed person.... hahahaha its not that late pa naman eh and its not im 30 something na Im just 25 and i missed having great nightouts with friends..not the starbucks thingy i mean ...the nights in malate...or makati...where theres great music na will pull you to dance like hell and laugh because you just stepped on someone's foot..and the time spent with with friends as if we're back being just college studs.with no cares, and fear of what ahead of us... adamant sa lahat ng bagay...i miss me, loperamide, paracetamol, pantaprozale, nootrophil and anti-seizure...i missed the dance floor and the walang kamatayang September song...hahahaha...and our signatured steps..

im so sorry..

sorry for everything i put you through... for all the lies... but the thing is i never really think you'll care and that you'll ask about the truth... i wish i really could tell you the truth.. and i dont really mean to hurt you..

fave song ..

On the side of me

Corrine may

I'm not the easiest person to love

I'm often the one who lets things go unresolved

Yet you choose to be

On the side of me

On the side of me

Yet you choose to be

on the side of me

On the side of me

I'm not too proud of some thingsI've done in my life

The skeletons in my closet

Are too big for me to hide

Yet you choose to be

On the side of me

On the side of me

Blessed Charity

You're on the side of me

On the side of me

Everyone needs a friend to hold

When it's cold outside And there's no place to go

Everyone needs a friend to hold

All alone I cried

There was no place to go

I remember when nobody cared

But you

I'm not the easiest person to love

But you, you've opened your heart to show me what I'm worth

'Cause you choose to be

On the side of me

On the side of me

What a mysteryYou're on the side of me

On the side of me

Everyone needs a friend to hold

When it's cold outside

And there's no place to go

Everyone needs a friend to hold

All alone I cried There was no place to go

I remember when nobody cared

Nobody cared

But you...

Yeah you choose to be

On the side of me

On the side of me

FYI

mY friends call me KITE..

i have been friends with loperamide, paracetamol, and pantoprazole for 10 years and still counting..

i have eight close friends but only four of us was left and three settled abroad( nootrophil, gycerin, anti-seizure) and well one, si imodium she got lost eh..and we're hoping she'll find us Again soon.

i started college at the age of 15(yes!) and graduated at the age of 19...

i took my board exam and passed it but i waited till i turned 21 to get my professional license.(phew 2 years din un)

i never really got any preschool stage.. i was accelerated when i was in nursery to grade 1..well when i asked my mom about it.. she said my teacher was amazed that at the age 4 i can read and do simple math... (real story)

and during my early school years i was binabauan pa daw ng milk.. in the bottle (dede sa bote) hahahaha...

minsan i would regret being in school at an early age kasi i dont have any memories of me playing with other kids at that time.. i only remember having play time with my sister...we had those cut-outs paper doll..free sa mga tig-pipisong chichiria..

during highschool, thats the time i rebeled with life..thou i have good highschool friends it felt like i was doin something im not meant to do... so instead of focusing on my school works im became more insterested on dramas, plays and arts... thats when i decided to do things my own way.. i didnt failed, that 4 years in highschool i was average..not the gifted i was in gradeschool..and i felt good.

in college, i was planning to get back into being more than average but forcing mysefl to re-focus was hard...and it was...he;ll hard..college was a a bitter place when you have no friends...luckily i have them...

aNg nakakatakot na facts..

last wednesday was our usual starbucks night out.. and im with loperamide, pantoprazole, and paracetamol... well loperamide and paracetamol was busy doin their research talking with their professor(statistician).. so me and pantoprazole decided to seat outside the Hub...(smokin area...OK) we seat in the corner facing the busy street.. Pantoprazole, she's a kind of friend that you'll look forward to chat every now and then a dear friend, she can be frank and blunt about my personal life and you can depend on her in giving you a well meant advice about how to's in life.. she can lighthen your load because you get to realized that you're not that badly screwed and that there are alot who are more screwed than me..LOL anY way we talked about ung mga bagay that happened for the last 10 years of our friendshiP( yes... imagine i've been friends with this crazY gurls for long 10 Years!) and im lookin forward for another 10 freakin long years...

i let pantoprazole to talked about her married life and how this bastard "urolith" get all the best side of my friend in exchange for nothing but heartaches..na realized ko tuloy that day that men are all the same, for one thing, men are not born to be monogamous...they are not fit for marriage and i can go on with my list of what men isnt good at.. but i decided not to.. I know naman na there's few men who are capable to do good things..but take note only FEW...nga lang.. di ba... i was happy to have realized that im single and with a career and friends.. kaya lang minsan nga you'll (me) look for something new..but you know i was silently wishinG i have my someone..pero syempre he has to meet all my standard, i dont know if that someone exist..im still hoping..

my secret...

"i am grateful that i am the brilliant creator of my life and therefore all things in my life can be created or changed through my conscious direction"- from the secret by rhonda bryne

get Smart...aha!

i havent talkd to my mR. reckon..well for atleast a day.. and im planning to do that until i can... just have to save what's left in me.. mY pride. the last string was pulled out last wednesday when he told me he'll be on a date with *** on thursday(a day before) so much for the information..hahahaha...and all i can say is "GOOD" and goodLuck...Yes! i said that and i regretted it so much that i decided to stay in my corner and be haPPy atleast i am for him, right?.. i am without sounding Hippocrates...its for real...

kainis

Ugh...another day of comPlete Boredom... waaaaa.... naiinip na ako..

hahahahaha...

loperamide, paracetamol, pantaprozole and me met and visit our HUB therapY: tada! starbucks... the needed break and im thankful

the reason...

this its for real im moving on with my life... narealized ko kasi thats maybe its better to distance my self from him... kasi at the end ako lang ung nasaksaktan and i believed i dont deserve any of it.Ang hirap when your the one pala na nagiisip kung meron ba or wala, na ikaw ung nagiisip na is there a small chance na iniisip nya ko. I bet his living his life and tapos ako im stucked just because of maliit na hope na kahit pano iniisip nya din ako, pero sad thing is HINDI.. and from that im moving on.. im dusting my self, and pulling myself all together kasi katangahan lang toH.. its not even real..nothing about us is real.. but just two old people that one day woke up bored in their respective lives that they decided to fool around and tried make impossible into a possibility but they say nga not everything can be turn into something their not meant to be..cguro din kasi i was giving alot of hope.. na nakalimutan ko its just a simple illusion..