nasan na?

why is it that there are times when you needed your friend thats the time they arent available.. like i wanted now to confide something but none of my friends are available.. and those that are i think will give a bias advice are the ones available.. why? i felt like exploding... someone hurt me today.. or something awful came to my knowledge...someone who i consider like a mom... say something against me..and worst at my back.. i dunno why? but it clearly show how iam to her... i have been a good colleague to her.. gave her all the respect thou sometimes she doesn't deserved any..some small thing can lead to a lot.. ive spent miy 2 years working with her..and i really thought everything she shown me is a genuine care... some times you cant really tell if a person is true to you or just doin it for the sake of... Im hurting, thou i cant show people that iam... surely iam hurting...it felt that 2 years was wasted trying to make bond and showing care to people that'll later will stabbed you at your back.. it felt like i left something thinking maybe a year or so i can go back and still be accepted but right now..it seems its impossible... really impossible... i love that company still but with her in it.. i can surely forget about it..